Captain ⇨ is basically this wiki's answer to UnAnything Wiki's Captain 0 and UnNothing Wiki's Captain Pointless (except Captain Pointless is dead and Psycho Tex killed him), he's one of the people in charge of the Andrejus Dovidaitis Wiki, but contrary to unpopular beliefs, he is not Amusement Arrow nor is he a self-insert for the guy upstairs, he's just a symbol captain that just so happens to have the same color scheme as him.
Origin[]
Captain ⇨ wasn't always the "mascot" to the Andrejus Dovidaitis Wiki, he spent the 12 first years of his life in Milford, Delaware, he spent most of his time listening to the radio tuning in on whatever the hell the governor was up to, or just simply plucking out the grass on the playground, people didn't really care much about him in elementary school, he wasn't well liked but he wasn't hated either, people just saw him as "the agrosticidal sphere kid" and nothing else, though he did have his fair share of friends and enemies, he had to move to a new school following an incident where a teacher had accidently set fire to a microwave which had burnt down a quarter of the school. (Editor Note: BORING, time to alter history to spice things up)
Captain ⇨ was sent to fight in the Milford, Delaware Civil War of 1874 after some arrow dude came out of a portal and took him to another timeline, while many of the soldiers surrended, Captain ⇨ knew he had to put an end to WaWaDipsy's reign of terror, and was able to take down many of the enemy troops singlehandedly using only a stick of butter, a whoopie cushion and a broken unicycle, this heroic act was nothing new for him, at least in Captain ⇨'s opinion, though the amount of bloodshed from killing the multicolored bart simpson clones will leave a scar he must learn to cope with, he has achieved much for his state, but at a cruel, daunting cost. (Editor Note: EUGH, too edgy, and a little bit Gary Stu-ish, let's try that again)
Captain ⇨ knew he was up for a fight when he got older, as seeing two arrow dudes fight over a time machine made him think "Is my life that imperfect?", the philosophical question made him wonder if he was a mistake in this timeline, causing him some depression, but then another thought popped up in his head "What if the imperfection is not me, but the WORLD around me?", with motivation to change the world for the better, he snatched the time machine off of the two arrows and began to rewrite parts of existence as he felt fit, with a perfect balance between utopia and dystopia, the world was almost complete for him, but he felt something was missing, he remembered back to the amusing arrows who wanted to change him, so he'd figure to return the favour by designing a character with resemblance to them, called Amusement Arrow, and eventually, it all came according to plan. (Editor Note: Eh, I guess I'll keep this, but is nobody going to talk about the fact that Captain ⇨ and Amusement Arrow invented each other? I can count seven, no, EIGHT time paradoxes that can result from this, and what is up with Captain ⇨ being named "Captain ⇨" and having a red and gray color palette if he himself is not an alternate version of Amusement Arrow, surely this can't be no coincidence, right?) {𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 ⇨ 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: How does it feel to be the one being struckthrough? Not very pleasant now, IS IT!?}
Powers[]
Now you can't have a captain mascot without captain powers, everybody knows this, even the people who have never seen an UnAnything article in their entire life, actually, I lied, WaChuck Norris (Chuck Norris' Enemy) doesn't know cause he's a n00b
- Past Manipulation: To a small, non-Gary Stu extent, as mentioned in the Origin section, he wouldn't say he's a pro at manipulating the past, but rather that Amusement Arrow sucks at manipulating the past, he has no plans of doing it again to avoid getting lost in a sea full of bad timelines.
- Fire Manipulation: NOW THIS is what I'm talkin' about, this is the main power used in case of fighting foes, flamming flows or making Delicious Hot Schmoes™, C. Rightvote is quite the pyromancer, as you will see.
- Fire Immunity: You can't expect an iPad to brick upon installing iOS (unless you jailbroke it), so obviously the chef should be able to eat his own cooking, or at least, disguise fast food as his own cooking, actually, that doesn't make any sense, but who cares, aurora borealis is localised entirely within my kitchen! (Editor Note: Oh wait it's fire...)
- Fire Absorption: He's not only able to generate fire, he's able to take it away from others too! Like how Nintendo generated Super Mario 35 by taking away Mario Royale! (Editor Note: I am not holding a grudge against nintendo btw
🥲) - Fire Consumption: Sometimes chilli peppers aren't enough, sometimes you just gotta do things the authentic way, even if it means tricking your teacher into setting the microwave on fire just to get your grub on {𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 ⇨ 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: Alright, who's spreading rumors?}
- Fire Mimicry: As of 04/08/2022 22:18:34, this is an extremely recently discovered power I am witnessing this very moment as I type this into the page, Captain ⇨ seems, really bothered about the information I leaked on my PREVIOUS STATEMENT OH GOD IT BU-
- Flame Head: {𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 ⇨ 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: Sorry about the mishap, anyways, I can indeed confirm I had a fire inflamed head, but that was due to some, intermediate disputes, also, it is with deep sorrow that Buddy-Lee Pitchforktoter Flywheels will no longer be working with us}
- Battery Manipulation: For a party trick, he is able to crack open a battery and drink it without injury or death, preferably a cold one, and preferably with a group of people he refers to as "the boys", I heard battery acid goes well with mango juice.
- Idiot Manipulation: He boots up a modified copy of Idiot Test: Way Too Funny and asks the idiot to play the game, except everytime the idiot loses, the SCARE TACTIC pops out, terrifying the idiot, the idiot is desperate to win, but keeps getting scared as a result, often resulting in the idiot's death due to being terrified so much, which reminds me, who was phone?
- Supernatural Touch: Captain ⇨ is able to read books by sliding his hand across the pages, though it's a long process and would only come in handy if he's in pitch black darkness and braille text is unavailable.
- Dance Inducement: He is able to force people into a simulation where they uncontrollably perform a near-perfect recreation of the gummy bear song, in a similar manner to the phenomenon known as "The Gummy Bear Nightmare".
- 360-Degree Neck Rotation: He doesn't have a neck, and his head is seperate from his torso, so, I guess this counts? {𝒞𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 ⇨ 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: In my cases, I'd say it's more of an ability rather than a power, but you can keep it for "comedy" reasons}